Twilight: New Moon

Chéri

At the age of 51, Michelle Pfeiffer is more than ready to play the role of a cougar… Well, so to speak. Although they had lovely euphemisms for such things in the early 1900s, the part of Lea de Lonval is essentially that – in modern-day speak.

A retired courtesan (again, what a lovely euphemism for prostitute), Lea (49) is left in charge of a strapping son of a fellow courtesan. Chéri, as he is known, is 25 and rather difficult to resist falling in love with – a cardinal no-no for any self-respecting lady of the night. What develops is a six-year affair fraught with constantly changing feelings and many pained expressions from Pfeiffer as she runs the gauntlet of emotions associated with being The Older Woman. The performances are beautifully nuanced and the classic story still very sexy, 100 years on.

Rating: 3.5 outta 5.

Che: Part 1

If I ruled the world I would make the watching of this movie compulsory for one simple reason: ask anyone who’s wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt/cap/pair of undies and I will guarantee that 90% will not know who the hell the man in the beret is. That ranks high on my Pet Hates list.

Besides that, Che really was a fascinating dude. As you may have guessed, Part 1 is being released first and focuses on his part in the Cuban revolution with his mate Fidel Castro. Part 2 will be released within a month to complete the ill-fated tale. I love that Benicio Del Toro plays Guevara with so much conviction, but I do admit that if you’re not into expanding your historical knowledge (even if it is to know whose face you’re wearing), you could find yourself nodding off to sleep in your popcorn.

Rating: 3 outta 5.

De Dhana Dan

If you want insane antics and non-stop ridiculousness, it doesn’t get better than this Bollwood offering.

Starring Sameera Reddy, Sunil Shetty and a basketload of other fantastically colourful characters, the movie involves a few heiresses and possible suitors, a Chinese Don, an assassin, a drunk waiter and an overly pampered dog named Moolchandji – and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There’s also a kidnapping, a wedding and general mishaps, set to some wicked tunes that you’ll be humming for days after. Pure entertainment.

Rating 4 outta 5.

Law Abiding Citizen

Since this movie hardly warrants writing about, I will summarise: Man goes on murderous rampage after his wife and daughter are killed and one of the killers is let off after turning state witness. Man also targets crooked lawyer who let killer off the hook to advance his career. Man creates big, bloody mess and a pile of bodies. Man is played by flavour of the week Gerard Butler, and Lawyer is played by Jamie Foxx.

Yup, that’s about all there is to say about this hateful little movie that is taking full advantage of the gratuitous gore trend that so many movie makers are relying on to put bums on seats at the cinema. Frankly, it’s lazy, uninspired and a load of bollocks – according to me, that is.

Rating: 2 outta 5.

Kurbaan

Kareena Kapoor describes her role in this movie as one she could “sink her teeth into”. Whether it will earn her as much recognition as her other roles remains to be seen, however.

This time she plays a teacher who falls in love with a professor, played by a brooding Saif Ali Khan. However, all is not rainbows and joyful dancing… When the two relocate to New York they find themselves drawn into a series of horrific and terrifying events. More than this I will not tell you.

Due to the nature of the plot, the music is quite different and a refreshing change; reduced tempos and moody, haunting numbers act as an excellent complement without taking centre stage. Is the story unpredictable? Nah, but it’s still not a bad show from two of Bollywood’s finest.

Rating: 3 outta 5.

Pandorum

Now here’s a surprise… Going into this film not expecting much, I kind of enjoyed it – even with Dennis Quaid as the lead. We’ve had our fair share of sci-fi/alien/zombie movies over the years, starting with the ultimate – Aliens - but not since then has one really swept us away, right?

Well, Pandorum comes pretty close. Set in outer space, two guys wake up from an induced sleep not knowing who or where they are and soon discover They Are Not Alone; screeching, scary mutants are flitting around the spacecraft too. Problem. Then, just to spice things up, there’s the danger of spaceman madness, where a human can suddenly freak out and start killing people.

It’s a perfect recipe for a good jump in your seat flick – darkness, claustrophobia, a touch of madness and, of course, stalker mutants.

Rating: 4 outta 5.