Predators

Here again I am amazed by yet another movie concept that has been dredged up from the last century. Arnold Shwarzenegger’s Predator was released in 1987, and Alien Vs Predator in 1993. Back then we were just beginning to be barraged with alien and/or zombie movies, so these films were pretty relevant and fresh. Yet here we are in 2010 faced with the same concept and essentially the same movie!

This time the predators are a mix between a rhino, tiger, lion and prehistoric dinosaur. Or is that warthog, tiger, panther and elephant? They’re funny looking things which seem strong enough to take out a concrete high rise, so the fact that mere mortals – even if they are extreme killers – are sent to conquer the beasts is confusing. What I’ve learnt is that movies like this don’t have to make sense; they just need to showcase a bit of jungle hide and seek and a good few knife fights. If that’s what you’re after, bingo.

Rating: 2 outta 5.

Inception

Do you remember the first time you watched Christopher Nolan’s Memento? How half the time you had no idea what was going on but you were absolutely enthralled nevertheless? How the concept of the movie was unlike anything you had encountered before? Well, Nolan is back with yet another outstanding film that is going to twist your mind into a pretzel and blow you away with its bizarre originality, awesome special effects and brilliant casting.

It’s hard to explain in anything short of an essay what the story is about. The only thing you really need to know is that it revolves around a guy named Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) who is able to infiltrate and create other people’s dreams. Why does he do this? Why else but to give his big corporate employers the upper hand in business. When he is approached to plant an idea instead of steal one, however, the game changes and he must gather a killer team to try pull off the most risky job he’s ever done. The result is the most memorable mind bender you’ll see for a while. Brilliant!

Rating: 5 outta 5.

Our Family Wedding

Take one young Mexican woman (Ugly Betty’s America Ferrera) and script her to fall in love with and get engaged to an African American guy. Throw in the respective politically incorrect families, as well as their cultural intolerances and clichés, and you have the makings of a very average and predictable comedy.

It seems the idea of two different cultures coming together in matrimony will eternally be fodder for funny films, which is really depressing news for a buff like myself. That said, I realise that millions will still flock to take it all in (again) and find satisfaction in the overused jokes and slapstick gags that go hand-in-hand with a mass-market movie like this one. Perhaps the only new prop is a traditional wedding goat that runs wild and gets stuck into a bottle of Viagra. Yeah, this is not the stuff that movie magic is made of.

Rating: 2 outta 5.

The White Ribbon

The most disturbing films are not those that unabashedly revel in explicit violence and horror; they are the ones where darkness and malevolence are implied and sensed. The White Ribbon, set in a rural German town pre-World War I, understands this implicitly.

A seemingly normal townspeople start experiencing strange events: a snare is set, a barn is burnt and a child is murdered. Suspicions reach fever pitch and they become paralysed by fear. Given the small-scale setting, the concept of fear and what it can elicit from humans is magnified, making this an exercise in psychology too. It’s sinister, disturbing beyond reason and will leave you feeling slightly on edge, which is exactly what I’m looking for in a creepy movie.

Rating: 4 outta 5.

Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai

I know I’ve said it before, but it’s impossible to get any information about most Bollywood films before they are released, so I’m going to have to give you the press version because that’s all I’ve got!

Here goes: Seen through the eyes of a police officer, this film traces the changing face of the Mumbai underworld and how it all started.

 Set primarily in 1970s Mumbai, it follows the rise of Sultan and the conflict when his protégé, Shoaib, challenges his supremacy and usurps power to rule the murky underbelly of the city.

 The film is presented in a retro-chic style and is a glamorous and powerful return to a golden era.

Rating: 2 outta 5.

Letters to God

As you might assume from the title, this is a film about a boy who starts writing letters to God when he falls ill with cancer. He writes about things like his mom’s happiness and how he wants to play soccer again when he is well. The postman who receives the letters is perplexed about what to do with the notes and in turn starts asking deep questions about his life, like, “Was I sent these letters for a reason?” You see where this is going, right?

Christian Hollywood is not everyone’s cup of tea, nor is it the popular choice, but considering some of the other abominable films on offer, a wholesome little story that delivers a positive message might be just what a lot of us need.

Antichrist

If you’re NOT a psychopath who enjoys sadomasochism, extreme violence and grotesque self-mutilation, do not see this movie. This is the stuff that night terrors are made of, and will leave any sane person permanently altered – in a bad way.

Basically it’s about a couple that move out into the forest in an attempt to process the death of their child, but it spirals into a sickly indulgent show of what I can only describe as misogyny. These types of film do nothing for our collective psyche and I would absolutely advise against watching it. You might never be the same again.