The Rite

To quote the respected Peter Travers of Rolling Stone magazine: “The Rite goes wrong in every way”. Sorry to disappoint you, but this pretty much sums it up.

As a horror lover myself I was hoping for the best and received the very worst. This is simply a regurgitation of every exorcism movie you’ve ever seen, which means that weird gurgling noises and hollowed out eyes don’t scare you anymore. Sadly this new flick is as stale as Steve Hofmeyer’s publicity stunts.

Rating: 1 outta 5.

Getroud Met Rugby

There is just one question you need to ask yourself when deciding whether to watch this movie: Do I like rugby? Okay, so you might also want to ask whether you can tolerate yet another a zero-to-hero sport drama, but if you answered no to the first question this won’t matter.

Once you’re past this, though, you might be impressed by the local acting talent and cinematography that keeps getting better with every release. The story, although predictable, is one that rugby fans across SA will lap up. Oh and for the Engelse mense, don’t worry – the film is subtitled for your enjoyment too.

Rating: 2 outta 5.

Love and Other Impossible Pursuits

Fresh off of her Best Actress win, Natalie Portman will draw audiences to this film, but most will probably feel slightly disappointed after watching it. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just not that accessible to a general audience.

The story is a sad one: Natalie falls in love with a married man; he gets divorced and the two marry. He has a son, and the couple produce a daughter. Sadly the daughter dies, leaving the couple devastated, but slowly she begins to find peace in building a relationship with her stepson. Yup, it’s heavy and quite obviously wrought with sentimentality and emotion, which is too much to handle at times. If you’re keen, prepare yourself.

Rating: 3 outta 5.

Conviction

This is the true story of a single mom who put herself through law school to represent her brother who was sentenced to life in prison for murder. And while you can draw similarities to Erin Brokovich here, this particular mom spent 18 years doing it. Respect.

Hilary Swank plays the long-suffering sis to a brilliant-as-always Sam Rockwell, and we’re also treated to cameos from Juliette Lewis and Melissa Leo, who just won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. It’s a story that is too painfully dramatic not to be true, which makes for compelling viewing.

Rating: 4 outta 5.

Night Drive

Okay, so you can imagine that a game farm would be a good place to shoot a slasher flick, right? And you can imagine that being hunted by machete-wielding muti-men out to steal your internal organs could be pretty damn frightening… Which is why this new South African horror film is, well, pretty damn frightening.

Together with a handful of well-known local actors, the film is yet another indication that we are moving on from producing strictly political films to pure entertainment. A win in my book.

Rating 3 outta 5.

The Tempest

Hark, is this the same Tempest that was written by Shakespeare? Indeed. But fear not, for it’s not all agonising soliloquies and strange outfits.

Like other Shakespeare films before this, the producers have employed the expertise of some fab actors (Helen Mirren, Russell Brand and Djimon Hounsou) to spice things up and, in this case, have gone big with the special effects that result from all kinds of sorcery and magic. The Tempest is an intriguing story, so don’t be put off by the fact that it’s really old school.

Rating: 3 outta 5.

The Dilemma

There is nothing worse than a bad comedy that relies on recycled jokes and clichés. The Dilemma is a case in point. Vince Vaughn and Kevin James are best mates and business partners with gorgeous wives and perfect lives. So when Vince sees Kev’s wife, played by Winona Ryder, kissing a younger hottie he’s faced with a dilemma. What follows is a series of threats and unfunny interactions with the two couples. Yawn.

Rating: 2 outta 5.