Green Zone

You’ve heard the stories about how the US government had to fabricate outrageous stories about Iraq’s Weapons of Mass Destruction in order to justify their invasion. To this day no WMDs have ever been found, which just strengthens the theory that none ever existed in the first place.

Green Zone, although totally fictional, investigates this idea in the form of a thriller. With Matt Damon as the bloodhound, and the director of two of the Bourne films at the helm, you can’t go wrong. I love it when a conspiracy theory and a blockbuster come together. Expect to have your mind twisted into a few knots that will leave you thinking for days whether George Bush was in fact the most unscrupulous man ever to have lead the US. This one gets a high five from me.

Rating: 5 outta 5.

Sex and the City 2

As usual, the filming and storyline of the second SATC film instalment has been guarded like a national secret. Not even the press was able to see the film early in case we spilt all those delicious details. As a loyal SATC watcher I wouldn’t think of doing such a thing.

If you’re a fan you won’t want to know whether Big and Carrie actually survive marriage, if Samantha finally finds love again and what Charlotte’s baby looks like. You’ll simply pre-book your tickets, take your girlfriends and go see for yourself, right? If it’s anything like the first film I’ll be seeing it multiple times, in my high heels and LBD, and will be making a stop for a couple of Cosmopolitains immediately afterwards. Oh how I’ve missed those gals…

Rating: 4 outta 5.

Schuks Tshabalala’s Survival Guide to South Africa 2010

Leon Schuster is back and set to rake in more millions from the South African public. Whether we like it or not, there’s a reason why he’s so successful: he makes the majority of the population laugh so hard that they cry, and he does this simply by making fun of us as a nation. This movie is no different.

In a return to his candid-camera style, Schuster manages to p-off everyone from Helen Zille to fishermen in the Cape. He gets klapped, gets into trouble and once again paints his face black, thus offending a number of other people. I guess I must accept that Schuster is in fact a part of our collective South African culture, and admit that sometimes he can be fairly amusing. More than this I cannot do – besides hope that one day we learn to appreciate movies of more substance with the same vigour.

Rating: 3 outta 5.

Fauborg 36

The conflict in this French movie revolves around an old theatre that is shut down by a mean, lousy landlord, and the locals who rally to revive it.

It’s Paris, 1936 (not exactly the city’s finest era), and the locals are fairly likeable characters, as is the story. But this is the problem: The result is just fairly likeable. From the outside the music and run-down, dusty setting of the theatre seem to set the stage for something charming, but sadly this isn’t so. I won’t go so far as to say you won’t enjoy it, you might just not remember it in a week, which, in my mind, is never what a filmmaker should aspire to.

Rating: 3 outta 5

Gentlemen Broncos

If you were a fan of Jared Hess’ work in Napolean Dynamite and Nacho Libre, your interest might have been piqued with this, his third film. Perhaps Hess’ downfall is the fact that his first two films were such a runaway success, even gaining cult status in some circles. The problem with this is that he’s become famous for quirky oddity and therefore has to try really hard to maintain the momentum. Certainly this attempt seems forced and self-conscious, making it generally unfunny and way more weird than quirky.

The story revolves around a nerdy outcast who goes on a science-fiction writers’ course only to have his story stolen by the lecturer. Perhaps Hess believed that the inclusion of science fiction meant he could get away with more… Wrong. I won’t say I didn’t giggle, I just seemed to drift off and start thinking about exfoliating my feet more than I laughed.

Rating: 2 outta 5

Space Chimps 2

Zartog is back and has taken over mission control, forcing Comet the space chimp to take action and, together with a few mates, save the planet from the alien dictator’s wrath.

If this means nothing to you then you probably didn’t watch the first instalment from the makers of Shrek. And if you didn’t watch the first one, you’re unlikely to watch the second, right? Well then, for the rest of you, the journey continues with a host of pretty lovable chimps and aliens. Yup, that’s all there is to say about that.

Rating: 2 outta 5

Ghost Writer

I don’t know about you but I’ve been struggling to take Pierce Brosnan seriously since he croaked out those Abba songs and pranced around gaily in Mamma Mia! Here, perhaps, he regains some credibility as a British Prime Minister with a somewhat murderous background.

He hires a ghost writer (Ewan McGregor) to complete his memoirs, but before long realises that his “Ghost” is onto his shady past, and must take measures to shut him down. While the plot sounds pretty straightforward, the unfolding of it is not. This is a thriller to rival the best of the lot. Fast-paced and nail-bitingly tense, this is a film that is much better than it looks from the outside.

Rating: 4 outta 5.