Centurion

This is what you need to know about this movie: a bunch of Roman soldiers known as the Ninth Legion are stalked and slaughtered – throughout the entire movie – by a group of weirdly painted Celtic tribespeople. And when I say slaughtered I really mean it.

Prepare yourself for gross dismemberment, fountains of blood and epic violence, and not in a Braveheart kind of way. No, this is purely gratuitous and pointless savagery with no storyline to justify or buoy it. I cannot think of a worse way to spend an afternoon. Yuk.

Rating: 2 outta 5.